Don't know why I'm still afraid
If you weren't real I would make you up
nowI wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true
And deep
As the sea
But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives.

Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet
In love's game
You would call; I'd call you back
And then I'd leave
A message
On your answering machine
But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right nowI wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives
FreedomRun away tonight
Freedom, freedom
Run away
Run away tonight

We're made out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust
Without A fight
I think that you came too soon
You're the honey and the moon
That lights
Up my night
But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish that I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives
Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom freedom
Run away
Run away tonight

We got too much time to kill
Like pigeons on my windowsill
We hang around
Ever since I've been with you
You hold me up
All the time I've falling down
But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right nowI wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives

(0) comments

a reallie nice song, i guess it time to come i'd prob get this dedicated to me from di...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone

She said somedays I feel like shit
Somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
And when I pick up I don't have much to say,

so I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting,
at times debatin
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

You know, the place you used to live
Used to barbeque with burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween with candy by the pile
but now you only stop by every once in a while
Shit I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I'm plannin' to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you I want you to know its a little fucked up that I'm stuck here waiting,
at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

I want you to know its a little fucked up
that I'm stuck here waiting,
no longer debatin'
Tired of sittin and hatin' and making these excuses
For why you're not around,
and feeling sorta useless
It seems that one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got till its gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here
and you can sing it

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

(0) comments

finally shifted most of the stuff over... still messing around with the blogskins and all.. anyone out there knows a thing or two care to help me out? i need to shift my "comments" to just under the latest post rather than about the previous post. also i need to include a "links" section. anyone who knows drop me a msg, thanks!

(0) comments

I'm one who strongly believes that if u gotta go, u gotta go. no matter how much precaution, how much care u take in ur life, when ur time is up, there's no stopping it.

All this talk about how if we love God unconditionally, we'd find ourselves in heaven etc, now isn't that itself, a condition already? If we accept God in our life, when our time is up, we'd bask in the eternal sunshines of heaven? I'm not blasphemous, I'm just questioning facts with facts.

I wonder, why do some ppl who marry in God's name, with God's blessing, in God's house, end up in extra marital affairs? divorce?

Why do ppl who supposedly live in his ways, preach his teachings, spend 1/2 their time in church, donate a sum of their income to church, yet, yet when it comes to their own parents, they shun responsibility? Did God not teach u to be filial? I can't stand how those ppl who're like so devoted, dedicated to the church, or the ppl of the church, that they'd rather help out at church den at home. Trust me, I dare say all this cos it comes with experience. I've got superholy peeps on both sides of the family. And yes, I resent the way they live their lives, its like they wanna book their place in heaven. Doesnt work that way I'm sure. Otherwise everyone should just accept God on their dying day and all sins are forgiven, heaven would be overcrowded.

Picture this, my grandad's been a stoke patient for the past 9yrs. Fuck, if its not his time yet, why can't he get well? why let him suffer. or others around him for that matter? after 9yrs, my aunt's had enough, and we finally send him to a home. Just when we thought that my grandma could start going out, playing mahjong, etc etc. Guess what? a recent checkup showed that only 20% of her kidneys are working. She may need dialysis, and where in the world are we gonna get the money? who's gonna bring her to the centre everyday or whenever? hell, a family living just a mere 3min walk away hardly even bother to drop by to help out around. Too busy with church is their excuse. Fuck, I'm sure the church freaking gave birth to u. They claimed that us being catholics are wrong, and them being whatever christians are right. Fuck u, its the same God for crying out loud. The bible was in HEBREW, then with different translators, came different versions, so who's right?

So really, if there is a God up there, pls answer the prayers that many've been praying every night, earnestly, praying for a way out, for solace, for inner peace.

leave u guys something to ponder about...

Dear god, hope you get the letter and...
I pray you can make it better down here
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
But all the people that you made in your image
See them starving in the street'
Cause they don't get enough to eat from God
its tough believing in you

Dear god, sorry to disturb you but...
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
And all the people that you made in your image
See them fighting in the street'
Cause they can't make opinions meet about God
its tough believing in you

Did you make disease and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear god don't know if you noticed but...
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book
And us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look

I won't believe in heaven or hell
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well
No pearly gates, no thorny crown
You're always letting us humans down
The wars you bring, the babes you drown
Those lost at sea and never found
And it's the same the whole world 'round
The hurt I see helps to compound

i'm sorry

I've got nothing against God, just the ppl who claim to be living in his way, yet they do so otherwise.

(0) comments

sometimes a man has to choose
to do something he doesn't want to do
do I live my life with you as my wife?
or do I go on and pursue my lifetime dream
i gotta do this for me
cuz if I dont I'll probably regret it
but if I do I'll probably regret it

how do I cope (how do you cope)
when the one you love
is with somebody else and there's nothing you can do about it
how do you deal
with the fact that you had a chance
but you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though its heartbreakin
its something that i had to do
but nobody said that it would hurt so bad
so how do I live
how do i deal without you?


it's killing me to know that your heart's with me
but your with him cuz I choose to be
in this industry money, shows,
those come along with luxuries and pain,
is all you see when you think about it
this is the life that i was given
so i have to live it to the fullest
how do i deal in the meantime without you?


how do you cope
when the one you love is with somebody else
and there's nothing you can do about it
how do you deal
with the fact that you had a chance but you chose to turn away for your career
i gotta take it though its heartbreakin
it's something that I had to do
but nobody said that it would hurt so bad
so how do I live
how do I deal without you?


how do you deal when you can't be with the one you love and the one that you love is with somebody else (i don't know, i don't know
and what do you do when you know she dont love him and she loves me but she just can't stand loving you far away
guess im gonna have to..you just deal with it (deal with it)
i dont wanna have to live with it...you just deal with it (deal with it)
oh no no, you just deal with it (deal with it)
i dont want nobody else lovin you...you just deal with it (deal with it)
i dont want nobody else lovin me

-------------

doesn't it jus suck when there comes a time when u hafta make a decisionlike this? either way you lose out something dear to you, either wayyou'll end up regretting...so then.. how would you deal with it?

(0) comments

ever had the feeling of wanting to be in two places at once? won't decision making just be so much easier then? you won't have to choose one over the other, no favouritism, no lack of importance, no worries.

7s tournament, inter-form, safsa, knights, le cordon bleu, friends, family, di. i want em all.. i reallie do.. thats why i need to be in 2 places at once.. if only...

i'm still chasin the same dreams i've had
that builded up all this hope but then eventully crashed
and the drama doesn't pass, headaches are bound to last
critics burn like a rash (too much, too fast)
i got the people showin love, and haters who got u stuck
when you've tolerated enough, you just get so fed up/
i decided to let it be, my passion can leave without me
my faith got really shallow, my doubts got really deep/
but when my parents let me down, my brother just aint around,
my people doin their thing, that's when i know i gotta sing/
one mic is all i need, one voice to show and tell,
i got my heart and my dreams and threw it all down a wishing well


you're gonna know this in time..
and when you think its all right..
your heart will make it a blur..
you gotta know if you're sure..
to hold on something that's real..
it's more than just how you feel..
you'll know for sure when its gone..
if you regret it then it was wrong..


(woah yea) you gotta feel, the beat in my heart
to understand all the love i still got from the start/
(it doesn't change)you gotta feel, the beat in my heart
to understand all the love i still got from the start/(it doesn't change)
you gotta feel, the beat in my heart..
to understand all the love that's taking me far..
you gotta feel, the beat in my heart..
to understand all the love that's taking me far, so far..

(0) comments

My Life

these memories of mine
and the tears that i cry
when nobody is here
all the love disappears
destroy all my pride
thinking back on the night
when I wanted to die
cos I hated my life, my life


turn around and walk away
i need some personal space
to get my mind straight
i'm disappearing without a trace
my life is just a waste
of money and women
its like love
is just a waste of my tears and my feelings
nobody else is living my life except myself
i can choose to ignore the condition of my health
bad days become worst
its getting harder to really speak
explain whats on my mind
its everything all combined


damn it I ain't lying
dear God I feel like dying
why is it every night that my eyes continue crying
alone here in the dark
I'm writing these last words
my gift is not a blessing
my exception is a curse
thought it couldn't be worst
feeling how much it hurts
my pride is ready to burst
I'm putting myself first
tryna help someone else
before I can help myself
I wanna end the pain that's real
that's how I feel


these memories of mine
and the tears that i cry
when nobody is here
all the love disappears
destroy all my pride
thinking back on the night
when i wanted to die
cos i hated my life, my life

(0) comments

Take A Walk

sometimes i tryta picture, my dream becoming real
cuz im living in a world of bricks and cold steel
where a dream is all i have to hold and carry on
the mentality of being deprived for to long
i been having these doubts, these regrets, i cant shut out
am i chasing my dream? do i kno wat its about?
can it be touched? how much.. time i've given up
for nothing. still here nobody giving a fcuk
for what? ppl tell me "look at u, u made it far""u on tv, ppl kno u, ppl treat u like a star"
i put my heart into this shit, my heart bleeds with every word
yet sometimes, i feel blind, n dats hurting me worse
ive been blinded by a vision that im falling in the dark
reaching up to grab a hand but instead i grab my heart
n im pulling it out, so fierce i cant explain
in my dreams, i dream a dream thats causing me pain


i had a dream in my head that one day it would be different
if i kept my heart pure then one day id be forgiven
but life is hard hittin n i kno it to well
n the top is where im aiming cuz im livin through hell
n only some of u can tell, cuz i dont really talk to much
keep a smile on my face but inside ive had enough
to survive i play it tough, cuz nobody gave me a break
i been through so much drama how much more can i take?
and i never fuckin ran from any obstacle at hand
then why do i get punished i could never understand
i dream of one day that i can change another man
with my music, make a difference thats all in my plan
i talk the talk, walk the walk through my life in everyday
paid my dues, for my sins, in almost every fuckin way
but still its not enough, seems like it never is
n i guess, hope pushs me to constantly dig..

(0) comments

Love hurts


i like to dedicate this
to all my fellas
Fellas who ever been in a relationship,
and had their heart fuken torn out,
you know what i mean?
and i realise that, that alot of people suffer from heart breaks
so yeah,

From promises to lies, to every tear drop that we cry
the promises to care & understand each others lives
from struggles at its worst, we said the love would never change
then why do I feel lied to every time its saying
we said we had each other, unconditional love
if this is what love is, then I think I?ve had enough
the bullshit & the drama was nothing but wasted time
this thing that we call love is just illusions of the mind
all the smiles that we have is a story to be told
but nothing in the world can make up for all this bull
the problems that we faced there was something just reaching out
we shoulda took the hint that this shit wont be working out
I mean what have we been thinking, all those times we were together
did u really think that we would be in love forever
at this very age we shouldn?t be playing this game
now I understand that love is pain


love hurts so we all cry
tears droppin' from my eyes
the pain I cant explain
all I know is love is pain
Love hurts so we all cry
tears droppin' from my eyes
the pain I can?t explain
all I know is love
is pain


Through these past few days I've been reminiscing back
it's the first time I couldn't understand what we had
Was it love? Was it passion? Was it all a waste of time?
now its hate, now its pain, now its all this shit combined
I can't force myself to erase all our memories
but when I'm thinking back I always feel like u fooled me
nobody to blame but myself from being blinded
crying in my sleep hoping this hurting passes by
I've been told by my brothers how these girls are all the same
but you had me so convinced that my world suddenly changed
cause you always made me smile but a smile isn't forever
and I guess its unpredictable like change in the weather
I thought we'd work it out like those other times before
but the truth had to reveal, we cant live a lie no more
I'm still young and I'm still trying to stay true to my heart
my dreams have disappeared and now my life's scattered apart


love hurts so we all cry
tears droppin from my eyesthe pain I cant explain
all I know is love is pain
Love hurts so we all cry
tears droppin from my eyes
the pain I can't explain
all I know is love is pain


dedicating this song to anyone
whose gone through break-ups
Who felt the pain of losing someone you truly love,
and who lost hope and all thier dreams,
but remember, there is someone truly special,
waiting for you out there..

(0) comments

Sometimes Even Angels Fall


so many days i been living tryna make my momma proud
tryna represent my people show da world what im about
tryna bring my ppl out tryna find a way to smile
cuz my life was filled wit stress ever since i was a child
so i promised myself one day im standing tall
from the bottom to the top one day ill have it all
no more having to call my mom n tell her wats wrong
that im sittin in the bing n i aint coming home
no more time all alone just thinking how to survive
no more fights wit my own especially my own kind
sometimes i think dat we're blind, wen we're young we didnt care
wen we start to get older those the times that we scaredso now we bein prepared tryin hard to find a job
didnt kno we'd need skool so we dropped n just robbed
n now its to late u gotta work it even harder
da problems dat we had have just become larger


da pain is almost double, wen dey say u cant make it
to give it ur best but yet still dey wont take it
there were times wen i fell wen i tried to get up
wit nobody by my side to tell me hang n be tough
so i had to play rough, had to do the things that hurt
to survive this lifestyle u had to do ur share of dirti decided to change, i wanted out no beef n dramadreamed a life of success where i could show off to my momma
but i understood the rules n every risk that i take
that ur enemies stay wit every move that u make
so i gotta be awake, i gotta take n see it all
cuz no matter who u are one day u gonna fall


ive changed over time and grew stronger in life
wont give up what is mine
but sometimes even angels fall down
ive done all this rightand ive won all these fights
i grew stronger in life
but sometimes we break down n fall apart

(0) comments

There was once a guy who was very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then ...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company ... "You never fail until you stop trying."

One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realise those were his girl's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drived slowly beside the couple,wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it!

Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his papercranes beside her Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle ... therefore she had chosen to leave him...

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him ...

"Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever." "Find time to realize that there is one person who mean so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person whom you thought meant nothing to you.

The guy just wept ... the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never c them again..." You don't have to love in words because even through the silences, love is always heard. Do Treasure Everyone & Everything you have.. [You might lose it 1 day...]

(0) comments

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise canprolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, andthat's it... don't waste them on exercise.Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up yourheart will not make you live longer; that's likesaying you can extend the life of your car bydriving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruitsand vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. Whatdoes a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these?Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than anefficient mechanism of delivering vegetables toyour system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is alsoa good source of field grass (green leafyvegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% ofyour recommended daily allowance of vegetableproducts.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit.Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take thewater out of the fruity bit so you get even moreof the goodness that way. Beer is also made out ofgrain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat,your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies,your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages ofparticipating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. Myphilosophy is: No Pain...No Pain!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried thesedays in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeatedin it. How could getting more vegetables be badfor you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting alittle soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, itgets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups ifyou want a bigger stomach.(Now I know what happened to me...)

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans!Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good foodaround!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explainwhales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! You are in shape! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather toskid in sideways - your favorite beverage in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, what a ride!"

(0) comments