I'm one who strongly believes that if u gotta go, u gotta go. no matter how much precaution, how much care u take in ur life, when ur time is up, there's no stopping it.

All this talk about how if we love God unconditionally, we'd find ourselves in heaven etc, now isn't that itself, a condition already? If we accept God in our life, when our time is up, we'd bask in the eternal sunshines of heaven? I'm not blasphemous, I'm just questioning facts with facts.

I wonder, why do some ppl who marry in God's name, with God's blessing, in God's house, end up in extra marital affairs? divorce?

Why do ppl who supposedly live in his ways, preach his teachings, spend 1/2 their time in church, donate a sum of their income to church, yet, yet when it comes to their own parents, they shun responsibility? Did God not teach u to be filial? I can't stand how those ppl who're like so devoted, dedicated to the church, or the ppl of the church, that they'd rather help out at church den at home. Trust me, I dare say all this cos it comes with experience. I've got superholy peeps on both sides of the family. And yes, I resent the way they live their lives, its like they wanna book their place in heaven. Doesnt work that way I'm sure. Otherwise everyone should just accept God on their dying day and all sins are forgiven, heaven would be overcrowded.

Picture this, my grandad's been a stoke patient for the past 9yrs. Fuck, if its not his time yet, why can't he get well? why let him suffer. or others around him for that matter? after 9yrs, my aunt's had enough, and we finally send him to a home. Just when we thought that my grandma could start going out, playing mahjong, etc etc. Guess what? a recent checkup showed that only 20% of her kidneys are working. She may need dialysis, and where in the world are we gonna get the money? who's gonna bring her to the centre everyday or whenever? hell, a family living just a mere 3min walk away hardly even bother to drop by to help out around. Too busy with church is their excuse. Fuck, I'm sure the church freaking gave birth to u. They claimed that us being catholics are wrong, and them being whatever christians are right. Fuck u, its the same God for crying out loud. The bible was in HEBREW, then with different translators, came different versions, so who's right?

So really, if there is a God up there, pls answer the prayers that many've been praying every night, earnestly, praying for a way out, for solace, for inner peace.

leave u guys something to ponder about...

Dear god, hope you get the letter and...
I pray you can make it better down here
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
But all the people that you made in your image
See them starving in the street'
Cause they don't get enough to eat from God
its tough believing in you

Dear god, sorry to disturb you but...
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
And all the people that you made in your image
See them fighting in the street'
Cause they can't make opinions meet about God
its tough believing in you

Did you make disease and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear god don't know if you noticed but...
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book
And us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look

I won't believe in heaven or hell
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well
No pearly gates, no thorny crown
You're always letting us humans down
The wars you bring, the babes you drown
Those lost at sea and never found
And it's the same the whole world 'round
The hurt I see helps to compound

i'm sorry

I've got nothing against God, just the ppl who claim to be living in his way, yet they do so otherwise.