Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing...

I can't even find the words to say
I can't find a way to make it right.
And we both know that the story's ended
We play the part but we're just pretending
And I can't hide the tears cause I can't accept the feeling
Of you being a million miles away.


So my grandma has left us... It's still very much of a shock to me.. it just seems so unreal.. the other day I went up to the house during the wake.. it felt so damn weird.. Never in my life have i ever go to my grandma's house without her inside.. I walked into her room and was filled with so much emotions.. how she used to bring me out when i was younger, let me go for kiddie rides, not once, but on every machine that was there.. how her melodic "justin yeo" sounded.. how she took care of me.. how her cooking tasted..how she smiled, how she laughed.. there's a void in my life that will never be replaced...

hers is a story of love.. for 10yrs, 10 freaking long years she cared for my bedridden grandfather..there was nothing wrong with her other than aches.. then my grandfather passed away...she didnt cry, not a tear.. she was calm and composed.. 1 week later, I met her, "how're you" i asked.. "ai se buay se" came the reply..in english.. "wanna die cannot die.." it hurt me to hear that.. "come stay with us, make ur passport, we'd bring u for a short holiday" i invited... "dun want, i dun wanna spend 1 week at ur hse, next week at another and so on..i've got my own hse"..

So this is my conclusion, my grandma cared for my granddad for 10yrs with no illness, Granddad passes away, Grandma stays on, worried for her younger daughter as she always is... 2 weeks on, daughter still cant communicate with her, trying to get her out of the house.. grandma says wat the hell, since im not wanted, i might as well go.. and a month and a day after my granddad's departure, my beloved grandma joins him... love story? indeed.. love, hurt, betrayal all in one...

so u ppl claim being a catholic is wrong, christian is right, well if this is what christianity teaches u, i'd rather stay wrong....fuck you. catholic and christian different God ah? dun be fucking stupid can? freaking HUMANS wrote the bible.. it didnt just pop out of the earth or drop from heaven you know.. why are ppl so blinded by faith? i honestly personally feel that christians are the most fucked up ppl around, christians, who think that their God is different from the one that the catholics or anglicans or methodists pray to.. another example of stupidity.. u know at funerals they have the red string thingy they serve with the peanuts? ure supposed to like take it with u and throw it away on ur way out or something like that rite? oh no christians dont do that.. fuck la..throwing away that red string isnt a fucking religion right? its just a custom.. here's another.. there's this belief that on the 7th day, the spirit of the departed would return to the house.. wanted to clean up my grandma's room, put on fresh sheets and all for my grandma...but christians dun believe in this.. here we go again.. this is a fucking CUSTOM nothing to do with RELIGION.. why are christians soooo blinded?? fuck.. for ur info, my CATHOLIC grandma returned to her room on the 7th day...oh.. den again, catholics are wrong rite? fuck off...

during the funeral mass at the colobarium, the pastor dude was giving a sermon, he pissed me off so bad i wanted to tell him off..he was going on and on about how we should not grieve but be happy cos my grandma accepted christ(in other words, became a christian) and that she will go to heaven cos all those who accept christ (be a CHRISTIAN) would go to heaven.. fuck so muslims, buddhists, toaists, catholics etc all go to hell la?! fucking irritating la.. then he said something bout my grandma, being at a train station, going off, not coming back, dude! we're not freaking 5yr olds who dunno wat death means la... i just cant stand it la.. cant fucking stand the way they imply that oh if u dun accept christ in ur life ure heading to hell.. so if i lead a righteous life but am a free thinker den im gonna go to hell? fuck, i might as well enjoy life, fuck it up, accept christ on my death bed, and go to heaven? go figure... as i've said before.. if u claim God loves u unconditionally, den why is it u hafta accept christ in order to go to heaven...if that isnt a condition, what is?


You are gone and every time I think about it
It tears me up inside.
Like the rivers of emotion but I got no more tears to cry